Pastor Apoplectic Over Starbucks Semen Find

In October 2014, a fake news site's claim that Starbucks used semen to add "flavor" to its drinks circulated heavily, covered in our original Fappuccino article on 20 October 2014. The outlandish "report" originated from a web outlet that openly admits to inventing stories for humorous reasons, but that didn't stop the tale from making its way around the Internet after

endless reposting by grossed-out readers.

The rumor appeared to have died down until 5 November 2014, when New York City-based Pastor James David Manning of Harlem posted a video to his "Manning Report" YouTube channel and broke wide open a nearly month-old debunked claim that no reasonable person had believed from the outset.

Working under the fallacious logic that sites like the New York Times refused to cover the story (rather than the more plausible and entirely inconvenient and boring conclusion that it never happened), Manning launched into a bizarre tirade about sodomites exchanging bodily fluids in Starbucks outlets across the United States, spreading Ebola, and ejaculating into the lattes:

Manning was firm in his belief about this phenomenon, stating that:

Why would Starbucks put semen in coffee in the first place? Manning offered a very thoughtful explanation for that, too:

Predicting the imminent closure of Starbucks locations following an FDA investigation that isn't underway, Manning surmised semen in Starbucks drinks was just the tip of the corporation's bodily fluid fixation:

The weekend before Manning's video was published, protesters targeted his ATLAH church in Harlem over comments the Pastor had previously made about gay people and Ebola. The demonstrators distributed Starbucks coffee during their protests.

Last updated:   7 November 2014